I still can’t cope. © Manja Croiset

May be a rather chaotic column.
Severely in pain, almost crazy from my occipital nerve, also all over my body,
but nothing you compare with the occipital, even the trigemiuns are less heavy.
Strange way to open next item?
A few weeks ago overhere (Facebook)  was a topic comparing the lives from jews (gypsys) in the concentrationscamps and the poor pigs we are going to eat.
Frits Barend was outrageous because of the destinaty from his family and pigs.
So was I.
Schweinhund a rather normal word for the Nazis and now I want to show
you in a quite different way than planned a few weeks ago.
Right then I was only furious in the same way as Frits Barend.
Now forcing myself laying down alone with the pain I think I cannot
bare to watch this documentary.
A letter of forgiveness never! Do I have to say more?
Do you understand or do I have to explain?
Who is to blame? Humiliation of complete insane people who treated others so cruel there are no words available…
A lot of jews are still sufferring, so I it seems you cann’t cope and always
stronger than you think.
Many times I ‘ve got the question:  “are n’t you proud to be a jew?”
My answer was always the same. No of course not just a human being.
In very heavy dispear from a lifetime suffering ending in a way worse than I ever could imagine I watched the movie and inspite of my loneliness pain and a lot more I want to make my companions jews and other people suffering in wars of from terrible diseases in this way aware the difference between jews/ people and pigs.
The politic right now, is horror too.
I never could think in forgivenes but neither in blaming, (not entirely true I ‘ll never forgive the SCEN MD Mrs. CMM Rijk.)
In the meantime tears not of sadness but because of physic pain.
With the stigma nutcase torture also without war md’s and administration.
No I am not feeling inferior anymore. The help I do need is not available. Why? Because I am stronger than the most of them. Am I now arrogant? No, different.
Refusing to read my story, how do you think you can comfort? Not necesseray. Cleaning and meals.  After a few disasters, I demand to read, they never are coming.
Feeling save the reason of My PGB
Q.E.D. a jew is not a pig, can a pig think and feel like this?
Probably a lot of mistakes in my English, ashamed? Not anymore.
Manja Croiset with the name nutcase for a life time
and education basic in a dissertation of a MD!
Will I do have a better night, shall I cure?
No, but I am not a pig or a nutcase and it’s neither theatre.
My message never judge others. Will I succeed myself?
No way.
Burst into tears, BECAUSE in spite of this words right from my heart,
I am not able to cope.


This link doesn’t work overhere. I figured out iff you copy the link and paste in in your browser, you can watch it .

 Do you like this page? I don’t!
Someone did say ‘story’ sounds as fairy tale no history.
In the past, right now as well in the future.
ManKIND doesn’t exist.
© Manja Croiset
Nu ligt de heldin bang en met pijn radeloos in haar fuik, mis familie en andere bekenden, mijn verzorgende verziek. Het andere verzonnen? Nee. Nog DS of ?
Zgn. troostende woorden zout in de wonden en hupsakee hun eigen levensverhaal.
lazer allemaal op.
fijn van me afgeschreven, nee steeds dieper in de ellende,  met dat begrip.

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