No way the rewriting WINK as he want, what does he mean by onconventional © Manja Croiset

Eerst van plan naam te verwijderen, maar mijn ‘mood’ laat het staan… Boodschap voor de komende generaties etc….
Als ik doe wat ze willen, ook al is de foto’s los geen probleem, dan is het geen Manja Croiset meer, plus de chaos wordt groter, voor de gedichten is ook zorgvuldig een plek gekozen in de context van het boek.
Los van dat ik niet in staat ben, hij wil een ander boek…. er staat nota bene onconventioneel! Wat hij daar dan mee bedoelt. Ook geen verwijzingen naar toneelstukken, boeken films. Ze staan daar niet voor niets. Zoals een voorbeeld (staat ook in Shoah, nu weet ik dat niet meer MIJN GEHEUGEN GAAT ACHTERUIT! Oei, ik moet vast onder curatele en een mantelzorger, zouden ze die in de uitverkoop hebben?) Een voorbeeld van velend “The Death of a salesman.” Dat hoort erin. In de tijd dat ik nog weinig wist van de SHOAH, kende ik wel het verdriet van mijn moeder. Haar vader noodgedwongen handelsreiziger en hij had de mentaliteit en het was recessie. dus verkopen niets en dan verslagen thuiskomen. ( De dood kreeg hij cadeau van de Duitsers dat hoefde hij niet zelf te doen) Ja enigszins zwarte humor. Tja, dat hoort erin…Zo niet dan is het dus niet waar dat hij iets onconventioneels wenst. Hoe moet ik die dingen weggelaten? Het kan niet PUNT OVER EN SLUITEN.
Dear Mrs. M Croiset,
Thank you for spending time on your manuscript, re-sending it to me, and for your detailed explanation behind it. Unfortunately, my reservations are still the same: I am concerned that your story, in its present format, is inaccessible to a reading audience and, therefore, not suitable for print by 39 West Press. However, I still find your story compelling and something worth documenting and passing on to future generations, but we unable to publish your book in its present format.
At 39 West Press, we look to publish non-conventional books and books that push the limits of creativity and expression, but editorial standards still exist as guidelines in which to present a book to the public. While 39 West Press would like to bring your story to an English speaking audience, I, personally, am worried that if we spend time and efforts working on bringing your text to a suitable print format that it will not please you. We are interested in your words–what you have to say through poetry and prose–and presenting those words in a readable format for consumption by an audience; we are not interested in the scrapbook-like collages that surround the poems and prose, thereby making access to your words difficult.
If you are interested in this proposition, then please submit your work so that each poem or piece of prose starts at the beginning of a new page, free of all pictures and captions. You may, however, include photographs and captions in a separate document and allow our editors leeway in devising a creative and novel way to present them. If this proposition does not suit you, then unfortunately, at this time, 39 West Press must pass on the publication of your book.
Warmest regards,
On 07-Sep-16 8:25 AM, manja croiset wrote:
Dear mr. Tulloch,
After working rather hard. I changed a lot. Removed photo’s added new ones.
Ordered prose and poetry, but I think and am afraid you will not be satisfied.
I didn’t succeeded entirely and couldn’t avoid quotes about politics and art/culture.
My childhood and also the main part of my life has been influenced by the past WW II .
Two sides of it: the resistance of my father and his time in concentrationcamps, my bringing up with a high political awareness and I was living in artistic environment. The completely murdered family of my mother. Two different characters, but both traumatized, blaming each other. (Writing this letter I realize this has to be added in the book.) A lot of members of the Croiset family are artists both are like the button. Everything is in this context.
All this makes the confused Manja aware of everything, of every aspect of life. So I am a disturbed woman because of life. I can’t cope.
That’s the reason of this book and my way of my writing. I wrote: chaos /madness reigns. I ment politics by this. My life is the same and being invalid, lonely and neglected, problems which were once conquered are back (smile or tears, this belongs also in the book)
Of course, if you agree to publish it anyway, we can discuss more changes.
While I was working I thought: I first need to know if it makes sense for me to continue.
I know I am not finished changing the book, but this is why I stopped.
You said you wanted a conventional book. Not one of my books is, neither in Dutch.
Because of my horrible life I make silly jokes and use black humor, that’s the reason I gave the book the name “with a wink in the darkness.”
I Hope you can now understand it better. No, I didn’t manage to write ‘a normal book’. If I could, there wouldn’t be a reason to tell my story. You wanted a conventional book, I am not able.
I am willing to make more adjustments, but first I have to know if you, as a publisher, are interested in this kind of book. If you just want an ordinary book, then we are not a match and all the quotes in the context of the book. It always has a reason.
I do have the right to use the books from T Furstenberg and  Unbearable suffering from dr. Dees also you can read that I cooperated with her. If we do reach an agreement I will get the rights for the Anne Frank photo. The former Jewish theater the collecting place of the Jews, waiting for deporting. For the photo I have permission, but I want to make a separate item of how it felt to stay over there and you see all those names. In a way you can’t give an impression of those feelings.
I wait for your decision. Unfortunately, I think it will be negative, I hope I am wrong.
Mrs M Croiset.

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